Daily Devotionals
Wednesday, September 11, 2024 (Paula)
I don’t often write about marriage because I know that not everyone in this community of readership is married- and we do strive to be relevant and relatable to our readers. But to be honest, marriage does provide a lot of material! 
Ted and I have been married for a little over 27 years. That adds up to a whole lot of happy life moments. And it also provides a whole lot of opportunities for “misunderstandings”.
Well, I’m coming out with it!Last Sunday we had one of those squabbles. It was a scenario where a statement said harshly was disappointing and hurtful to the other, which unraveled a fat burrito of loaded “words” with one another.
Then, silence.
We were in the vehicle together, so there was no walking away to take a cool down break.
Admittedly, I was upset. After a couple of minutes, I silently prayed and asked the Lord to help me. He led me to quietly process the “misunderstanding” and replaying of words and feelings, and what triggered my own reactions- because we rarely fight about the surface matters… we do so more at what lies underneath — which are the more vulnerable things like fear and mistrust.
Welp, it was a quiet afternoon and evening.
That night, we talked lightly about plans for the upcoming week and projects that needed to get done. Even though we were moving forward civilly I was feeling led to go back and revisit what happened earlier. But I was kind of paralyzed to do so. It’s hard to go back to an uncomfortable spot of vulnerability once things have cooled off and blown over. But I kept sensing the nudge from the Holy Spirit to talk through the deeper matters, share transparently, discover the hurt with one another, heal, and pray together.
But I didn’t bring it up. We went to bed.
The next morning I woke with the same conviction.
Every morning we start our day on the porch with prayer and scripture. And here was our prayer for the day that my husband read out loud…
It was titled “Living with Understanding“
“Dear Lord, thank you for loving us, even when we feel unlovable. Your love continues to transform us. Sometimes we struggle to feel loved and understood by each other. Will you help us courageously share our hearts with one another? Holy spirit, please urge us to be more transparent, connecting more regularly and deeply with one another. Please remove any temptation to hide or keep secrets from each other. Give us the strength to bring everything into the light so that the enemy does not have a foothold in our relationship. Lord, please help us to create a safe and comfortable environment so we can be honest with each other. we humbly ask you to make us better at communicating with each other. We can fess we aren’t always quick to listen and slow to speak. Lord, will you increase our ability to listen? May we give each other the benefit of the doubt and support each other in every circumstance we encounter together. In Jesus name we pray amen.”
Ok Lord! If that wasn’t the glaringly obvious open door to revisit our misunderstanding!!!
So, I brought it up. I’ll spare you all the details but we had the deepest and most healing conversation.
My encouragement to you this morning is a simple one.
Pray.
Prayer is always the next right step.
Prayer transforms thoughts, perspectives, motivations, hearts, hurts, and feelings.
Pray about your conversations in all of your relationships: marriages, children, friends, coworkers.
In marriage, and in all other relationships, when pain and weakness overwhelm us, or the tension of love and frustration stirs within us, prayer is the bridge of peace that brings connection between the one offering up a prayer and the Lord, as well as between spouses.
Courageously inviting God through prayer into the heart of every matter will produce good fruit and peaceful living.
“The spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
Romans 8:26
In prayer, we get the opportunity to reveal our hearts to our Heavenly Father. We are all made of flesh, which is weak- inclined to sin and susceptible to fear and self preservation.
“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Matt 26:41
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” Col 4:2
Whatever relational burden you find yourself carrying today, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Better Together,
Paula
Ted and I have been married for a little over 27 years. That adds up to a whole lot of happy life moments. And it also provides a whole lot of opportunities for “misunderstandings”.
Well, I’m coming out with it!Last Sunday we had one of those squabbles. It was a scenario where a statement said harshly was disappointing and hurtful to the other, which unraveled a fat burrito of loaded “words” with one another.
Then, silence.
We were in the vehicle together, so there was no walking away to take a cool down break.
Admittedly, I was upset. After a couple of minutes, I silently prayed and asked the Lord to help me. He led me to quietly process the “misunderstanding” and replaying of words and feelings, and what triggered my own reactions- because we rarely fight about the surface matters… we do so more at what lies underneath — which are the more vulnerable things like fear and mistrust.
Welp, it was a quiet afternoon and evening.
That night, we talked lightly about plans for the upcoming week and projects that needed to get done. Even though we were moving forward civilly I was feeling led to go back and revisit what happened earlier. But I was kind of paralyzed to do so. It’s hard to go back to an uncomfortable spot of vulnerability once things have cooled off and blown over. But I kept sensing the nudge from the Holy Spirit to talk through the deeper matters, share transparently, discover the hurt with one another, heal, and pray together.
But I didn’t bring it up. We went to bed.
The next morning I woke with the same conviction.
Every morning we start our day on the porch with prayer and scripture. And here was our prayer for the day that my husband read out loud…
It was titled “Living with Understanding“
“Dear Lord, thank you for loving us, even when we feel unlovable. Your love continues to transform us. Sometimes we struggle to feel loved and understood by each other. Will you help us courageously share our hearts with one another? Holy spirit, please urge us to be more transparent, connecting more regularly and deeply with one another. Please remove any temptation to hide or keep secrets from each other. Give us the strength to bring everything into the light so that the enemy does not have a foothold in our relationship. Lord, please help us to create a safe and comfortable environment so we can be honest with each other. we humbly ask you to make us better at communicating with each other. We can fess we aren’t always quick to listen and slow to speak. Lord, will you increase our ability to listen? May we give each other the benefit of the doubt and support each other in every circumstance we encounter together. In Jesus name we pray amen.”
Ok Lord! If that wasn’t the glaringly obvious open door to revisit our misunderstanding!!!
So, I brought it up. I’ll spare you all the details but we had the deepest and most healing conversation.
My encouragement to you this morning is a simple one.
Pray.
Prayer is always the next right step.
Prayer transforms thoughts, perspectives, motivations, hearts, hurts, and feelings.
Pray about your conversations in all of your relationships: marriages, children, friends, coworkers.
In marriage, and in all other relationships, when pain and weakness overwhelm us, or the tension of love and frustration stirs within us, prayer is the bridge of peace that brings connection between the one offering up a prayer and the Lord, as well as between spouses.
Courageously inviting God through prayer into the heart of every matter will produce good fruit and peaceful living.
“The spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
Romans 8:26
In prayer, we get the opportunity to reveal our hearts to our Heavenly Father. We are all made of flesh, which is weak- inclined to sin and susceptible to fear and self preservation.
“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Matt 26:41
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” Col 4:2
Whatever relational burden you find yourself carrying today, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Better Together,
Paula
